"I wish I was a messenger, and all the news was good."

Sometimes it can't all be though. As hard as you try for it to be, its just not. So you fall on your face (either figuratively or literally) and you pray and pray and pray for change.

I remember a sermon that I heard when I was twelve. It was about Elim and Mara. Elim was described as those mountain top experiences where all things are well, and all's right with the world. And then Mara is something all together different. Mara means desert. A dry period. In the past few weeks life has been very Mara for me, illness, money problems, stress, friends under stress, etc...But there is something I have noticed. When I have trouble, I begin praying, I begin depending on the One Person I can depend on without fail instead of trying to do everything myself. And then the fog begins to lift. Its happening now, I can feel it. I also look at beauty in the things He has created, in art and in nature worthwhile beautiful things, and I begin to feel peace. Slowly, one step at a time I begin to climb the mountain again. Maybe this time when I am on the mountain again, I will remember to be grateful.